Lately, I’ve been having lots
of conversations about the timing of things in our lives. Deep, I know. Lots of stuff about how some things are forever, some are
for a short time and others are just for once. It’s the ‘once-only’ stuff that got me thinking. Although advertisers will tell you
almost anything is once-in-a-lifetime, there aren’t many things that actually
are. It was difficult to come up with this list, but here are 5 things I
can think of that will truly only ever happen to you once. (Of course, I could have included
death, but I’m not sure we really experience it, plus it’s just dismal). If you can think of more, please add
them as a comment!
1.
BIRTH –
Sadly, we’re not really in the moment for this one. Maybe because our bodies are being squeezed through a tube
like a sausage through a needle. Or because our heads are squished through a
hole like a tennis ball through a piping bag. Or just because you’re pulled from a warm, safe, peaceful
existence into a bright, loud world where all you can hear is yourself
crying. OK. I retract my opening sentence. Perhaps
it’s best that we only experience this once, and that the memory is stored far,
far away in that amazingly programmed machine called the mind.
2.
FIRST LOVE
– In this we are ever so present because it normally happens in the teenage
years, when every emotion is heightened.
The joy, the lust, the longing and the inevitable pain when it all falls
apart are experienced on an acute level unlikely to be repeated in your
lifetime. It’s giddy, giddy
uncontrollable giddiness, accompanied by insecurity, uncertainty and pure
bliss. Sure, you’ll fall in love
again and again, but every time afterwards will be influenced in some way by
this very first time, so kids, if you’re reading (and you’re probably not),
make it count! Maybe mum or
dad can pass that one on!
3.
YOUR FIRST KISS – So it looks like we’re working in a life-stage pattern, but here’s a most
disappointing reality; you will only ever experience your first kiss once. Unlike falling in love, which covers a
period of months to years, your first kiss lasts only a few moments to minutes. My first one was in an old-school
shopping centre photo booth.
Caught on film. Way before
Paris Hilton and those bloody Kardashians made it popular. (I guess I missed my
time). Anyhoo, it was
nerve-wracking, butterflies-in- your-tummy yummy weightlessness, and I’ll never
forget it, and while I can only speak of this one experience, most people I
know tell me the same thing. Never-had-it-since
innocent, nervous bliss.
4. LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY – This one is probably more subjective…Unlike falling in love
and first kisses, but very much like being born, I’m glad this only happens
once. It’s a one-word reason. AWKWARD! It’s clumsy, weird and full of
pressure; good or not good. Where,
when? Right time, right place,
right person? Does it ever live up
to the expectation? Perhaps if
there was no expectation it would be better, but it’s generally so built up by
the time you get there that the weirdness overshadows the experience. Next time is better. And the next, and the next, but you’ve
gotta start somewhere, huh?
5. MEETING YOUR NEWBORN–The culmination of all this loving, kissing and mating brings us back
to point number 1, birth. Poetic
really, and I didn’t even plan it.
Although technically you can do this once, twice, even 14 times if
you’re that weird octomum in the USA, the first time you hold each new baby in
your arms is a significant and never-to-be-had again moment. Each child you bear is a unique little
individual, and the first time you lay eyes on that special person is infused
with emotion, meaning and thought. Yes, some of those thoughts are ‘glad that’s
over, I’d love a shower and a nap,’ but most are observing, nuzzling and
checking out the squirmy little creature in your arms, sizing each other up and
setting up one of the most important relationships of your entire lifetime. Treasure it. You only get that time once.
So after struggling to
find my 5 things, I’ve come up with something rather philosophical: every
moment of your life is once-in-a-lifetime. There are the big moments, like the ones on this list, but
the reality is, you’ll never get a single moment back once it’s passed. So I learned something from this: to
accept that every moment is fleeting, to enjoy the moments you love, and to know
the others will pass. I told you
this was deep.
