1. BEAUTY AND FACE STUFF - You rarely treat yourself to a facial, so when you do, you want to lie down, relax, switch off and be pampered. You don't want to be told your skin looks dry. You don't want to be told about fine lines or wrinkles - especially if they're yours. You don't want to hear that after 30 your skin starts losing elasticity and after 40 it no longer regenerates itself. You certainly don't want to be asked if you'd consider botox. And when the therapist asks what you use to care for your skin, you lie, because you don't want to admit that you would never cleanse, tone, exfoliate and moisturise, even if you were at a Nutrimetics party, and that's why your skin is so sallow, you have bags under your eyes, big pores, lots of little lines and the occasional zit. So when she tells you your skin 'just gobbled up' the $650 worth of 'nutrients' she sloshed on your face, you grudgingly buy the cheapest one and go home with a shiny face and empty purse.
2. HAIRCARE PRODUCTS - You go to the hairdresser which is already exorbitantly expensive, and you sit in the chair for 2 and a half hours, and somewhere during the conversation about your hairdresser's love-life and your kids' gymnastics prowess, you hear that your hair is dry. Or yellowed. Or weak, or frizzy or split or something generally unpleasant which makes you feel like only half a woman. So when you hit reception with your wallet open and the new product for frizzy, weak, split and unpleasant hair comes out, you shell out, not just for the cut, colour and blow-dry, but also for a product you would never have normally bought and which you will inevitably use only for a week before shoving it to the bask of your bathroom cupboard with the other 33 similarly unused haircare products. Because you are only half a woman. Half mum, half woman.
3. SHOE CARE PRODUCTS - No one is actually in the market for these. They're a pure, pure upsell. Just like spray and chamois cleaners for your sunglasses - both of which I've been guilted into buying. This time the sneaky salesperson is suggesting you don't have the panache to look after your special stuff, and you DO have panache, you know it! This is what happens: You've just bought these fantastic leather boots. Ooooh, aaaah, aren't they lovely, you're going to look gorgeous, what a great buy with such soft Italian leather, and such a great price, but are you going to buy the leather care? Oh you must, or they simply won't last. They're so superb and you're pretty much going to go out and trash them tomorrow with your cheap, non leather-caring ways aren't you? So you'd better buy that stinky spray with enough chemical fumes to kill a baby chicken, and use it, otherwise risk wearing half-baked boots that match your half-baked attitude. Sold.