5 things about same-sex siblings

Must I buy a new one every time?  Anyone want them?

I was recently in one of those conversations with some soon-to-be-second-time parents, when they were asked if they knew the sex of their unborn child. Of course they did - it would be a boy, to go with their lovely little girl. This was followed by the usual oohs and ahhs, starting with ‘now you’ll have one of each,’ and ending with ‘just as long as it’s healthy.’ Personally, I'm of the mind that you get what you get and you love it regardless. Having said that, as a mum of two girls born very close together, I see pros and cons for same-sex siblings each and every day - from everyone’s point of view!  Here are 5 of them…

1.     RE-USABLE TOYS – On the plus side for baby number 1, she gets mountains of brand new everything; toys, books, games, puzzles, DVDs, Barbies, ponies.  You name it, she’s got it. New. On the downside, she has to share it all with a slobbering infant.  The upside for the slobbering infant is that she gets to play with things that are just beyond her skillset, making her a fast learner and turning her into a baby genius. The downside is they may be pre-coated in slobber and year-old mashed banana and if they actually still work, they’re likely to be in need of new batteries, which Dad is never going to replace.

2.     HAND-ME-DOWNS – Baby girl number two is the unwitting recipient of tonnes of used and unused clothing.  While previously spewed-on Bonds baby rompers may not bother her as a 6 month old, the jeggings that weren’t cool enough for Miss 6 and the stockings that made her legs itchy just give Miss 5 the shits. The real winner here is that mecca for children’s fashion, Target, because with the usual pangs of motherly guilt, I inevitably over-shop for Miss 5 during every 20% Off Kids Clothing Sale, only to return days later when I realise Miss 6 will be walking the streets practically naked in comparison to her decked out fashionista younger sister.  

3.     BIRTHDAY CANDLES & CAKES – Do you re-use the red and white numeric candle you’ve bought every year for your firstborn?  It’s only been used for a moment before being blown out with 15 kids’ spit and shoved back in the cupboard, but when your next child turns one there’s something that screams ‘TIGHT-WAD’ if you re-use it. Ditto the cake.  Does it matter if they get different versions of Dolly Varden or different colours of the Princess Castle? Of course it does! They’re indi-bloody-viduals, and you can’t fool them with a different shade of icing. So far I’ve clocked one Dolly Varden, one princess castle, one sand castle, ponyland, a fairy garden, the Number 1, a toadstool house and a replica of Boo Boo – my second child’s teddy bear.  Seriously, I'm surprised and impressed myself!

4.     SCHOOL UNIFORMS – Number 2 will be starting school next year, presenting another conundrum; new or recycled uniform? When your first one starts school, you love how perfect, girlish and nerdy she looks in her navy and white dress with matching hat and little socks.  The winter uniform is even more exciting because the navy and grey pinafore, hat and stockings remind you of the French girl in the Petit Miam commercial, but altogether it amounts to about $250 and you know it’s just going to get trashed and washed and washed trashed and tumbled dried forty thousand times.  Surely last years’ stuff is OK, isn’t it?  Then again, if number two was a boy, this wouldn’t even be an issue, would it?  Can you see where I’m going with this?  Can someone please get me my wallet?

5.     SEEING DOUBLE – The negatives: Sometimes, they just loooove the same thing.  It’s usually something very annoying and faddish.  Dizzy dancers, Zhu Zhu pets, Mermaid Barbie or baby Care Bears in balls. This means you have to buy two of each, otherwise someone’s going to end up with a patch of hair missing (Yes. Girls pull hair. It’s not cliché, it’s very real and painful). This is costly and doubly annoying when one sibling loses or breaks their precious object and the other refuses to share the surviving one. The positives: Sometimes you get two for one deals, so you can avoid arguments AND save money.  This applies to meals and transport and extends to toys and clothes. Basically, you buy two but in different colours or styles. Unfortunately when it comes to clothing, this leads to a certain kind of Von Trapp-ism, which I’m sure is a mega downer for the kids! 

 The moral of the story?  I don't think there is one this week.  Just that whatever your family gender mix, there are going to be crazy moments, blissful moments, arguments, shared toys and shared spit.  As long as everyone retains their hair, everything is fine. Except for Dads, who might have no choice in the matter.