I don’t know why, but it’s universal – Spring makes you want to clean things out, shed your skin and come out of the darkness and into the light. Or something similarly metaphoric. There’s something primitive about it that I love. I’m about to get serious about my Spring-cleaning and I’m bringing out the big guns. These are my 5 big-ticket Spring cleaning recommendations:
1. GET YOUR LOUNGE CLEANED – My lounge is putrid. It’s almost ten years old too, which doesn’t help, but the constant filth it’s exposed to each day is just unfair. I thought it couldn’t get worse after the breastfeeding years, when it was covered in spew and rancid breast milk, but it’s only been downhill since then. Enter peanut butter, vegemite and fingers sticky with jam or honey. Add snotty noses wiped haphazardly pillows, lolly wrappers hidden by small people who weren’t supposed to eat lollies, filthy feet dancing on cushions and my very favourite, popcorn that hides where even a Dyson can’t reach. This is my lounge at the moment. I’m not buying a new one until the kids are 21, so instead, I have it cleaned once a year. See details of my awesome cleaning dude below…
|Watch this space...|
3. GET YOUR WINDOWS CLEANED – I haven’t done this for ages, but am well and truly ready for it. Last time, my sister-in-law recommended her cleaner, who was not only reasonably priced and did a very fantastic job, he was also young, ripped and took his short off while he worked. I liked that, so I called him immediately. His father turned up. He was little, old and a bit grey all over. I really didn’t want to see him without a shirt and thankfully I was spared. That’ll teach me for being an old cliché pervert. Still, Pops did a great job on the windows, and although my husband tells me he’ll get the gurney on to it and save us $200, I’m planning another visit from the window-cleaning fairy. I just hope he’s not wearing a tutu.
4. HAVE A BIG THROW-OUT – Choose a day when the kids aren’t home, because if you throw out the Zhu Zhu Pet burger joint and ballroom there’ll be hell to pay. Ditto their thousand craft creations, ant farm and blow-up guitar. Start with one room and 3 garbage bags. Use one for things you'll pass on to charity, one for things you never want to see again. The last bag is for passing old crap to unsuspecting friends and relatives whose kids are the right age for your kids' battery-chewing pink barbie car, toys that take 20 minutes to set up and 1 minute to play, and annoying magic wands that play repetitive songs in Chinese. Don't stop with the kids stuff, do your husband's crap too!* They don't throw ANYTHING out. My friend's husband has 44 pairs of undies in his drawer (she counted them during an argument) and I'm sure my husband has at least 625 T-Shirts. Be ruthless and throw.
*Disclaimer - The writer will not be held liable for any argument or marriage breakdown following this suggestion. It is a suggestion only and has not yet been trialled in a proper household.
5. GET YOUR INSIDES CLEANED – If you don’t like gross stuff, don’t read this, it’s gross. Just as junk collects and sticks in your home, it collects and sticks in your gut too. Especially in winter. A good cleanse helps get rid of that winter sluggishness and gives you the little kick up the butt you need to spring into summer. You may have guessed that butts are where I’m heading with this. The gross bit. But I’ll do the nice bit first. Try a green smoothie cleanse. You can do a quick little three day cleanse, or something more radical. Check out the green smoothie website. After that, if you dare, try a colonic. I won’t go into it, it really is gross, but you’ll feel amazing afterwards. Fresh, clean, energetic and clear-headed. It’s the physical and mental equivalent of cleaning your rooms, your lounge, your carpets, your windows and even your garage. If you’re in Sydney, go to Boda. They’re awesome.