5 things every woman should know about waxing

Last week I went in for my 5-weekly ‘wax job,’ which involves some form of bikini wax (stock-standard, G-string or Brazilian), plus an eyebrow tidy up.  After this particular episode, I somehow walked away with a piece of skin missing from my thigh crease, and two days later was sporting a mask of about 23 pimples across my forehead, including a trio of spots between my eyebrows and my nose ridge which I’m now referring to as the ‘Bermuda Triangle.’  While I continue to wonder why we bother with this painful and dangerous beauty ritual, I’m offering up my 5 best waxing tips for those of you who are brave enough to continue this now ancient tradition...

1.     BEWARE OF PIMPLES – As you grow older gracefully, may you find peace in the knowledge that you’re never too old for a pimple.  Or ten. Waxing of any facial region can bring them on. Thankfully I've no need for a mo’ wax, but God help those of you who do. The pimples (which are actually whiteheads) appear only sometimes and strike a few days after the wax.  I have no idea what triggers them – a different type of wax?  Your skin on the day?  The soothing product afterwards?  Who knows?  And sorry, this one’s clearly not a tip.  I have no help to offer and am still trying to cover my spotty brow and keep myself from squeezing.(Beauticians – any advice?  Please comment!)

The lovely smelling Bump eRaiser

2.     BEWARE OF IN-GROWNS– These are on a par with pimples and can be painful, ugly, and can get awfully infected (though at least they’re not on your face for the world to see).  I get the odd ingrown, but they're a big problem for some people, especially if you're going the whole hog. My awesome waxing lady Michelle from Belle Isle in Manly recently put me on to this stuff called Bump eRaiser, which works a treat to keep in-grown hairs at bay.  Even if you do get the odd one, Bump eRaiser seems to soften them so much they just fall out.  It smells lovely too, which is a bonus.  Highly recommended.

3.     IT WILL ALWAYS HURT – I’ve been waxing for what – 20 years now? - and it STILL hurts!  No matter what they tell you, being waxed more frequently doesn’t make the hair finer nor the process less painful.  It hurts every time and more if you’re pre-menstrual, so don’t go that week!  Some people recommend taking a Nurofen about an hour before your appointment to relax your muscles a little.  I’m not a big fan of painkillers if they're not totally necessary, but if you don’t mind, I hear it really helps.

4.     DON’T BOTHER WITH DISPOSABLE UNDIES IF YOU’RE GOING BRAZILIAN – Seriously, there’s no point.  It will be pushed aside, away and may as well not be there.  Just get naked.  It helps if you’ve had a baby, because you’ve already had several strangers get acquainted with you down there and you probably don’t care as much.  You’ll want to find a ‘specialist’ - someone who does this all the time and is very quick – both with the wax and the timing (like Michelle). No one wants this experience to last any longer than it needs to! You’ll also want to know your beautician preeetty well, trust them, and trust the cleanliness of the salon, because there’s not much room for prudishness, queasiness or dignity! 

5.     DON’T BE BULLIED INTO A BRAZILIAN – When they first became the hot new thing, everyone was doing it and I still wonder why.  I get that Brazilian chicks get about in really tiny bikinis, but the rest of us generally don’t, and we don’t participate in Mardis Gras with feathery headdresses and tassels either (though that would be fun).  Lots of young chicks are ‘going Brazilian’ purely because the young blokes expect it which just ain’t grand.  Everyone’s heard the claim that most Gen Y males haven’t even seen a naturally hairy v-jay jay, which is a bit creepy, partly because totally hairless is just plain weird and also because it reeks of porn industry imagery.  Some beauticians push it too, and even among girlfriends it’s almost a dare or a physical challenge to see if you’d go there.  It’s fine and fun when it’s your own choice, but it’s a big, invasive and very personal deal that you probably don’t want to go through if you’re doing it for some other reason. If you have teenage girls, you probably want them to think about all this first too.

So I’ve gone all mummy at the end, but I can't help it! As a mother of two young girls and a friend and relative of several teenage ones, I can’t help but throw in a dose of concern and protection for the next gen of chicks.  It’s our job as the older, more experienced, still stupidly waxing 20 years later women, to share and pass on this kind of wisdom.  So there you have it.  Go forth and share!